The Order of the Styx

And The Adventure Begins
Getting to know you...

And the adventure begins…

For days he has journeyed through the silent shadows of the ancient forest aimlessly and hungry. No sign of life, save for the forest creatures that wisely avoid him. The isolation suites though, as the only use he has for others is to send them on their way to The Raven Queen. Relieving them of their gold along the way of course, fair compensation for a plentiful supply of souls delivered in faithful and reverent service.

The hunger though did not suit him. It gnawed at him, driving him ever forward for a means to end it. If only it was ended has easily as the lives of those who stood so foolishly before him.

The wind shifted suddenly and the sweet scents of cinnamon and roasting flesh reach called out to him. Praise be to The Raven Queen.

Following the alluring aroma he shifted to the right seeing for the first time in days hints of dawns new light. Hurried moments latter he broke free of the forests shadows into a land of vast rolling plains.

Eagerly he scaned the horizon for the means to end his aching hunger. Then he saw it. A hamlet in the center of nearby valley. He moved ever forward toward his goal single mindedly, ignoring passing travelers bidding him good day.

At last he reached his destination.

The sign on the ancient oak tree identified it as the hamlet of “”/campaign/the-order-of-the-styx/wikis/Blane/new" class=“create-wiki-page-link”>Blane". It was only upon reaching his goal that he realized he had no means to end his hunger, for he has no gold.

Hunger and anger drove him to the center of Blane where he spotted the hamlets message board, and the spark of hope was rekindled. Upon it where two jobs offered more than enough pay to quench his hunger. Though work hardly fitted for a warrior of his skill, they would have to suffice, as the burning ach in his stomach had to be satisfied.

The first job was setting up tents for a travelling caravan of merchants. The pay was 18 Silver for the one days work. It will take far to long, the hunger had to be ended now.

The second was mucking out stalls at a local inn called “The Perilous Beaver” for 30 Gold. This would due nicely. He ripped the note down and stormed his way to the inn, bursting through the doors.

Milo, the owner of “The Perlious Beaver” dropped the tray he was carrying, taken aback by the massive muscle boound dragon creature in armor. Drak, Dragon Born Fighter and Servent of The Raven Queen, saw the wrinkled and tiny human man before him and quickly closed the distance between them.

Drak asked Milo if this was his note and if the offer still stood. Milo nervously admitted that it was and took him to the stalls. The sight before him disgusted even Drak, proving what filthy creatures the living truly are. From floor to ceiling the building was covered in a cornucopia of filth ranging from a variety of excrements to the decaying body of a dead horse.

The smell of the dead horse raised his hunger to new heights and in less than two hours Drak had the stalls restored to habitability. He then demanded 35 Gold and a meal from Milo for his steady work, Milo thought it wise not argue with the dragon born and acquiesced to his requests.

A rude and redundant rapping on his shoulder awakened Blane Forthwright IV just before noon. Far too early for civilized sentients to be up. Especially after a draining, yet profitable (40 Gold in appreciation of his prodigious skill), evening of entertaining the masses.

His story of choice the night before had been the epic tale of the man in spiked armor who made friends with the man of dough; and their perilous struggles to save the far away plane of Connecticoot. Sometimes it was good to be a Bard.

Again the tapping. Opening his eyes Blane was greeted by the sight of Milo, the small cranky old person smelling man who owned “The Perilous Beaver.” Eeeccckkk. What a way to start the new day. Then again his previous day had been started by Milo being the first person that Blane saw; and ended with Mina, Milo’s ever charming granddaughter, being the last person that Blane saw. Indeed sometimes it was good to be a Bard.

Milo cleared his throat, drawing Blane out of his pleasant musings. He informed Blane that there was a small dragon creature thing in the stalls and that he should do something about it.

Though it seemed to Blane that his empty stomach was of more concern to him than anything else, he humbly agreed to aid Milo. Of course he would need a cinnamon roll and freshly brewed coffee to aid him in the perilous task before him.

He followed Milo into the stalls, not be greeted by a dragon creature thing that need to be slain, but by an armored dragon born mucking out the stalls. Taking his cinnamon roll and empty coffee mug from Milo Blane thanked him for the coffee and inquired why the dragon born should interest him. Milo simply stated it seemed like they should be introduced. Annoyed at being awakened needlessly Blane turned to walk back into the in and fill his empty coffee mug.

With out provocation, or reason, the dragon born flung fodder at Blane, thankfully it only struck the robe that he had borrowed from Milo. Sometimes it was not good to be a Bard.

Upon reentering “The Perilous Beaver” Blane was greeted by a strange little human in robes named Rothgar asking if he was the proprietor of the establishment. Blane informed him that he was not. He was in fact the travelling talent gracing it with his person. Rothgar then asked him to provide him with cinnamon rolls for his master Lord Targus. Blane informed Rothgar that he was a guest and not the help, and that if he wanted cinnamon rolls that he should bother the owner who was currently in the stalls out back.

Rothgur encounter Drak in the stalls and asked if he was the owner of “The Perilous Beaver.” Drak responded rather tersely that he was not, and that Milo had returned to the inn.

Later that day Rothgur returned to “The Perilous Beaver” and informed Blane and Drak that Lord Targus wished to speak with them post haste.

Lord Targus informed them that he was journeying to “The Castle Of The Ages” for the coronation of the Lord High Prince Vincent Darkwater Kane; and that he wished to hire them to both protect him and record this historic event.

After convincing Drak that journeying with Targus would serve the will of the Raven Queen by allowing him to slay those who were destined to die in vain attempts on Targus’s life, Blane negotiated a fee of 5 gold a day plus expenses for both of them. After all he did make 40 gold for one days work yesterday, and 3 gold a day was less than a tenth of its profits after all.

More importantly Blane though was the fact that Lord Targus’s granddaughter Trina was said to be one of the greatest beauties in the all the land. If she were journeying with them as well, then it would indeed be an adventure worth undertaking. Sometimes it was good to be a Bard.

He informed Lord Targus that he had a friend or two in Rikavaran that might be able to aid in their most noble cause. Lord Targus in turn informed him that he would be travelling through Maidoc, and not Rikavaran. That would work out equally was well though, as Blane had friends everywhere. Some of which even didn’t try to slap on stab him on sight.

Welcome To The Tribe
Running with the Gnomes

Blane and Drak sat quietly at a table in Perilous Beaver, enjoying their supper in terse silence.

That is until a massive black scaled Dragon Born, and its Githzerai companion, menacingly barged into the inn and headed directly to their table.

Black scale rudely, yet with sinister intensity, asked the duo if Lord Targus could be trusted. To which Drak replied that if Targus betrayed them, he would soon be in the company of The Raven Queen. Black scale smiled viciously.

The joy and excitement that Blane felt about traveling with two death worshipping Dragon Born, and Githzerai that acted like a Githyanki couldn’t be measured. It really couldn’t. Sometimes it just wasn’t good to be a bard.

Never the less Blane did his duty and asked the newcomers the ages old questions of what’s your name / what’s your class. Black scale said his name was Cataan, “Locksmith for Hire.” With a drunken belch the Githzerai said something that sounded like Frank, but turned out to be Ren / Psion.

The next day Lord Targus’s Personal Honor Guard began their noble and dutiful quest to the Castle Of The Ages. All for the low low cost of 5 Gold a day each, plus expenses. Heroes for hire, are heroes none the less.

Shortly into their journey Cataan brought the Honor Guard to a halt. He had spotted two travelers surrounded by three rabid Dire Wolves. Cataan asked Lord Targus what he wanted the Honor Guard to do. Before he could answer one of the travelers turned into a small wolf, and began to counter attack the three Dire Wolves. Lord Targus sighed and told Cataan to save the travelers. Then inform them that they were in his debt, and therefore in his service.

The battle was quick and bloody. Drak cleaved the first dire wolf in two with his great sword. Another sacrifice paid reverently to The Raven Queen. Ren push the second one into a tree with the power of his drug addled mind. Leaving it in a crumbled heap upon the forest floor. The final dire wolf suffered the greatest though, as Cataan ruthlessly and repeatedly stabbed it with his tiny, tiny dagger.

With the dire wolves slain, the small wolf then transformed back into an elf; and introduced himself as the Druid Braig Belegorn. His companion, a Half Elf, identified himself as the Ranger Erogoren. Blane then proceed to properly greet his kinsmen, when he was cowardly (yet ineptly) stabbed in the back by Cataan. Who in turn stated that it was Lord Targus’s job to do the talking. Lord Targus, with visible annoyance, told them to stop acting like spoiled children and get back on the road.

And so the journey continued, until the Honor Guards path was blocked by a decrepit old woman and her pointy stick (which may or may not have been a quarter staff). The woman claimed this was her toll road, and that all who traveled it must pay her 100 gold. Targus leaned his head out of his coach and demanded to know what the delay was this time. He was outraged by the woman’s presumption. He was the lord of this land, and above such things. He ordered his Honor Guard to “kill the bitch.”

Taking pity on the helpless old woman, Blane tried to reason with her, and most generously offered her 1 gold per person. From inside the woods a terrified girls voice called out to them to just pay the old woman, less they share her terrible fate.

The crone glared and a fierce burst of flames erupted from her gnarled hand and hurtled towards the Honor Guard, hungrily engulfing them. Targus’s champions though, are not so easily bested. The wizard woman had drawn first blood, but the Honor Guard would draw last.

Drak eager for a challenge worthy of his skill struck valiantly, but futilely, with his mighty blade. Ren attacked the crone with the raw physical power of his mind, only to fail as well. Cataan struck her true though with his tiny, tiny dagger.

The crone responded in kind by launching a mystic cloud of daggers viciously at Cataan, who cried out more in rage than pain. Braig transformed once more into a wolf, but the crone merely danced around the strikes of his claws. Erogoren raised his mighty bow, and successfully unleashed a stream of arrows upon the crone. Who staggered back in agony, only to find Draks great sword eagerly waiting for her. Ren saw his chance and victoriously lashed out at her with the raw telekinetic power of his mind. Enraged the crone unleashed the most devastating of all wizard spells upon him, the dreaded Magic Missile. Blane saw his chance and ended the wicked wizards life with his Guiding Strike power, his sword cleanly taking off her head. Sometimes it was good to be a bard.

With the evil wizard now the slain, the Honor Guard turned its attention to her captive. The girl mumbled her name every time it was asked. The best anyone could make out was Gregoria or Greggor. That couldn’t be right, could it? Lord Targus couldn’t have cared less, and informed her that she too now worked for him.

The rest of journey to the port city of Serentalis was quit uneventful. Lord Targus informed his Honor Guard that Rothgar would procure them rooms at the inn he normally used when in this city. The stay at the inn was quit relaxing and refreshing for the Honor Guard; well for some, more than others. Cataan tried a local brew that allowed him to hear the thoughts of those around him. The experience turned out to be more annoying, and less profitable than he hoped it would be. Having to listen to humanoid voices was bad enough, but listening to their alien thoughts was far worse than he had ever imagined. The drunkard Ren tried the same local brew, and promptly fell to the filthy bar floor quite unconscious. When he awoke the next day and took his first swig of the cheapest swill available, he discovered to his horror that the taste was so repugnant to him that he had know choice but to expel it. He then tried the entire cornucopia of ales and spirits the inn possessed, only to suffer the same fate each time. The curse of sobriety had finally found Ren, and he found it wanting.

After breakfast Rothgar informed the Honor Guard they would be leaving on a pirate ship that Lord Targus had booked passage on. In Lord Targus’s mind it saved time to pay the pirates up front, rather than waste time dealing with their futile attempts on his person and fortune.

When the Honor Guard boarded the vessel Blane was struck by soul shattering beauty of the Pirate King’s daughter. He had met many beautiful women in his travels, but never before had he seen her equal. He wondered if she could truly be human, for how could a mere mortal posses such splendor and grace? And then her eyes met his and the world faded away.

Only to come crashing back in as the Pirate King entered his daughter’s cabin, to find Blane and his daughter physically and spiritually consummating their epic and true love. The Pirate King called for his men to slaughter Blane and the rest of the Honor Guard. Cataan and Drak hungrily prepared themselves for the coming slaughter of the pirates before them; while Braig surrounded a random pirate in a circle of fire. Yes, the druid lit the ship in the middle of the ocean on fire. To be fair though, he had never been on a ship before; let alone one in the middle of the ocean.

Using his bardic Words of Friendship power, and aided by his fellow half-elf Erogoren, Blane was able to resolve the pending conflict by making the Pirate King see that he was merely aiding the King’s daughter in her desire to provide her father with a worthy male heir to his vast and mighty fleet. Now knowing their noble goal the Pirate King ordered his men to stand down; and for Blane and his daughter to immediately continue most vigorously in their endeavors to provide him with a male heir for the rest of voyage. Indeed, sometimes it was very good to be a bard.

Cataan went back to his quarters disappointed, he had so been looking forward to sending a few worthless stinking humans on their way to the Raven Queen; as well as relieving them of the gold they no longer would have a need for. Meanwhile, Braig and the pirates struggled, successfully, to put out the fire he had started.

The pirate vessel, its mission to transport Lord Targus now completed, docked at the port city Mastrom. A city known for two things: 1) selling candles in every shop, and 2) being solely populated by a rare peaceful sect of the Clerics of Vecna. A fact Cataan and Erogoren were unaware of.

Cataan stealthily followed Erogoren into one of the shops. During their terse conversation they noticed the symbol of Vecna that the shop owner wore, and began to question him in a manner he found most threatening. The Cleric unleashed a mystic fox to warn the others of his order. Cataan attacked the shop owner, but the shop owner was able to escape his fury and ran for his life. Erogoren gave chase and fired two arrows at the fox, only to watch them pass harmlessly through it. Soon enough the church at the heart of the city bells sounded, and all the clerics of Vecna within Mastrom sought sanctuary within its walls.

The Honor Guard then gathered together in the town square. Seemingly out of no where a dwarf Warlord named Arlin walked up to Erogoren and said he know he would find his old friend here. How that was is unknown, as only days before Erogoren had been on another continent. Suddenly the churched bells silenced, and its doors opened; from them emerged a tall gaunt, yet visibly powerful, middle aged human male. He strode forth towards them boldly with grim determination, and demanded to know the meaning of this assault upon his city. Cataan, ever loyal follower of the Raven Queen, futility attempted to end the cleric’s life with his tiny, tiny dagger. The cleric responded in kind by engulfing Cataan within a gout of heavenly fire. Blane reasoned with the cleric, letting him know that his friends had wrongly believed that these clerics had belonged to that other sect of Vecna; the chaotic evil one, not the lawful evil one. The cleric gave them one hour to leave the city. At which point Lord Targus’s noticed the dwarf, and said to him with disgust “Welcome to the Tribe.”

Lord Targus’s Honor Guard continued on their journey until arriving at the city of Clumor, only to find the once thriving metropolis a burning ruin. It was then the sweet yet sickening smell reached them, and Cataan smiled; for he recognized it as the scent of burning human flesh. Upon reaching the town square the Honor Guard discovered a circle of 9 pikes fitted with severed human heads. A sign, with the royal symbol of the Prince, declared death to all traitors.

There was debate among the Honor Guard as to who really might have done this deed. It could have very well been at the orders of the Prince. Or one of his generals may have done this without the Prince’s knowledge. There was even the possibility that the Prince was being set up. Then again the people Clumor may have indeed tried to betray the Prince in some fashion, and paid for it with their very lives. When the Honor Guard reached the Castle of the Ages, perhaps they would find the answers they sought, only time would tell. For posterities sake let us clarify in no uncertain terms that no members of the Honor Guard did loot a city that had already been sacked and pillaged, that just would have been silly.

“The Tribe” continued on their journey until Erogoren and Arlin were flung through the air by a concealed catapult into a giant lake of blue ooze. At which point a gnome, by the name of Farlhagen, stepped out of the trees and declared that it worked; and that there was no hidden gnome city nearby. Let’s just say that some gnome punting may or may not have occured at that point. More importantly Gregoria/Greggor went up to the gnome and whispered something in its ear. Farlhagen promptly shouted out your a man! Gregoria/Greggor explained he was under a curse, and had asked the Farlhagen to help restore his manhood. Farlhagen took Gregoria/Greggor back to his shop; and after a great deal of clanging, hammering, and other noises he produced a metal steam powered organ for Gregoria/Greggor. That being said it wasn’t quite what she/he had hoped for.

One would have though this enough reason to get as far away from the gnome, let alone an entire city of gnomes, as soon and far as possible. Cataan had other plans though, and forced Farlhagen to take him to the hidden gnome city. Against Blane’s advice the Tribe grabbed on to ropes hanging from a mine shaft cart attached to tracks on the walls, and rocketed forward through the air towards the hidden gnome city far below them. On the bright side there was a giant red splotched sponge beneath them…

When Rangers Are Rogues / Druid Meets Siren A Love Story

It was at that point Farlhagen said to jump; everyone, except Cataan, reluctantly did as instructed and gracefully landed with only a few minor cuts and bruises. Cataan, thinking them all fools, continued on until the cart collided with a giant rubber ball and was flung into reverse. Seeing that he had few choices, Cataan then jumped as well; landing with a cat’s grace (until the sponge covered him in paint, or was it blood?).

As many of the Tribe were either hungry or parched Farlhagen took them to “The Fearful Badger” (a local gnomish tavern). Most ate the gruel brought too them heartily, save for Blane (who had been taught never to take food from gnomes) and Greggor/Greggoria (who had a strange craving for layered bread covered in pasted tomatoes). Erogoren, however, had decided to explore the apparently empty city. Unnoticed by him Drak had followed the ranger, curious as to what he was up to.

Erogoren decided to partake in mischief most unfitting for anyone other than a rogue; for he had located a boarded up gem shop, and decided to liberate its contents. Kicking in the door he quickly stuffed a fist sized diamond into his backpack; even more quickly was he surrounded by ten gnomish policemen. It was at this point that Drak choose to reveal himself and asked their intentions. The gnomish policemen informed Drak that Erogoren was under arrest for his crimes, and was to be taken to the Gnome King for trial.

A gnomish policeman shortly thereafter entered the Fearful Badger and informed the Tribe of Erogoren’s impending trial, and asked them who among them wished to defend the ranger. Cataan, with a grim smile that would give pause to even the reaper himself, volunteered for the task.

When all were assembled before the Gnome King he lit a mystic candle of truth, whose flame turned a bright blue when anyone uttered a lie in its presence. Cataan began his defense of Erogoren by stating that he was but a simpleton who knows not what he does; the candles blue flame brightened. The Gnome King found this an unacceptable explanation for the rangers crimes, and was about to pass sentence on Erogoren when Blane realized that the Gnome King shouldn’t be there. For as a monarch it was his duty to journey to the Castle of the Ages and pay homage to the Lord High Prince Vincent Darkwater Kane. When the Gnome King denied this the candles flame glowed a bright blue. Blane offered a deal to the Gnome King. If he would simple banish Erogoren for his crimes, then the Tribe would in turn not inform the Lord High Prince of the Gnome Kings crime of treason. The Gnome King reluctantly agreed to this, and informed the Tribe that to further insure their silence (and get them away from his hidden kingdom) that he had a gift / bribe for waiting for them outside of the city. The way out was much easier than getting into it, all the Tribe had to do was walk out of a cave; yet another example of why nobody likes a gnome.

What awaited them outside was something that only a gnomes mind could ever conceive of in a medieval world; a tank, shaped like a cat (without a tail of course) that was the size of large house. The driver of the tank gave Blane a four page instruction manual for the HCT (House Cat Tank); which only showed how to go forward, backwards, or turn to either side. The pilot’s compartment contained many additional levers (the function of which the gnome did not apparently know) which Blane wisely decided not to try. The gnome also seemed a bit confused on the subject of whether the HCT could travel underwater or not, another function that Blane wisely decided not to test.

Lord Targus was taken aback when the Tribe showed up in HCT; but after examining the interior and its comforts, and learning of its great speed, he begrudgingly agreed to travel in it. Erogoren and Braig however did not want to travel inside the unnatural structure, and with some minor convincing on Blane’s part they agreed to at least travel on top of it (secured in place by rope). Unfortunately the remarkable speed of the HCT proved too great for the noble adventurers, and they where soon dangling from the ropes for their very lives. It took some minor convincing, threatening, and silliness to get them to eventually travel inside the HCT; but once that was accomplished, the rest of the speedy journey to Galados was uneventful.

The eventful part came in the stopping of the HCT a mere three inches from the city walls of Galados. Arrows then rained down upon the HCT as its startled soldiers thought the city was under siege from the enormous metal cat. Braig boldly opened the door and raised a white flag, a few seconds later and the arrows stopped flying. He explained to the soldiers that the Tribe (and its HCT) were no threat to the city and merely stopping there to seek passage to Castle of the Ages. The soldiers allowed the Tribe to enter the city on the condition that they left the HCT outside its walls, a good distance away from the walls to be more accurate.

Erogoren and Cataan then gave their leave and went to find a gem shop; to fence the fist sized diamond they had managed to smuggle out of the gnome city undetected. With his cut of the ill gotten gains Erogoren went to a magic shop and acquired two magically frost covered long swords, one slightly more powerful than the other. Cataan took the druid antiquing with his share, and bought a mighty magical mace crackling with lightning. Braig discovered five fossilized wolf cubs and purchased them, with the intention of eventually returning them to life.

Ren meanwhile was in an alley using his telekinetic powers to move about the dead body of a human child that he had discovered. It was then that Dargus Fellfire, high priest of Vecna, stumbled upon him. Father Fellfire liked what he saw and inducted Ren into the church of Vecna, much to Ren’s horror. The priest of Vecna then picked up the dead child’s body and was on his merry way.

Even more exciting then Ren’s little side adventure was the one Arlin the dwarf warlord had decided to go on. You see the Tribe had been told upon first entering Galadon that its lord had been poisoned, and his funeral was currently underway. For some unknowable reason this inspired Arlin to search the city for the local ninja guild (yes he actually went looking for a secret society of thieves and assassins who highly valued their privacy) to hire them to rob all the nobles homes currently at the funeral. The ninjas decided to teach the dwarf a lesson in common sense and attempted to drug him three times; eventually settling for kicking him out their lair and telling him never to return.

Greggor/Greggoria consumed with the desire to have the curse upon him/her removed went to the local temple of Bahamat. The cleric she encountered there told her that she would have to journey to another plane to have the curse removed by Bahamat, and to bring platinum (a lot of platinum).

All of the Tribe was later reunited at the local inn that evening. It was there that Cataan happened to spot Father Fellfire contently consuming his small bowl of soup at a nearby table. Cataan demanded an apology from Father Fellfire for previously setting him on fire. The two of them debated for some time, without satisfactory resolution, on the nature of bad manners. Blane intervened at that point and arranged for Father Fellfire to apologize to Cataan on conditions that the Tribe allow him to travel with them to the Castle of the Ages, and to rescind the Tribes exile from his city.

Two days later the Tribe (and its HCT) departed by pirate ship to the Castle of the Ages. The first day upon the waves was unremarkable, but upon the second day of their voyage they heard the sound all seafarers dread, the fatal and seductive Siren’s call. All of the Tribe, save for the druid Braig who then turned on his friends, where able to resist their sinister song; once again proving that nothing good can ever come of allowing a druid on a ship (or at the very least, this druid). Drak, all business, cleaved the first two sirens cleanly in half. The third siren struck at him viscously in return, only to be struck down by the twin magically frosted blades of the ranger Erogoren. Braig in retaliation for Erogoren slaying one of the ‘beauties’ he now loved struck the ranger with a bolt of lightening. Blane then used his magical “Inspiring Refrain” power to aid his allies in their attacks upon the sirens. The forth and fifth sirens attacked Cataan and Ren in vain respectively. Cataan then, and for the first time, used his mighty magical lightning mace upon the forth siren; simultaneously crushing and electrocuting it, thus ending its wicked life. It was then that Father Fellfire blasted all the combatants, both hero and villain, with divine fire; killing the fifth siren. First and last blood would be Drak’s as he cleaved the sixth and final siren in two from head to toe, all the while smiling wickedly at offering he just given to the Raven Queen. With the sirens slain Braig was freed from their spell, with no memory of what had just transpired.

The rest of the voyage to the Castle of the Ages, like the first day, was thoroughly uneventful. With their docking at the capital city of Baustan complete, Lord Targus paid the Tribe one hundred gold each; and promised them more if they would escort him home after the Lord Prince’s coronation.

The Power of Prayer and Other Misadventures
The Case of the Missing Crown

The party began to explore the wonders that exist only in the city surrounding The Castle of the Ages. With the help of the city’s blacksmith many of the order were able to obtain stronger (or better fitting) armor.

The druid set himself to the task of restoring his petrified pack of wolf pups to their standard form. He was directed to Melf’s tower and warned not to wake the elderly wizard should he find him slumbering. The warning fell on deaf ears and Braig brazenly entered the tower and shouted for the wizard (every time that he went there in point of fact). On this occasion he reached the top of the tower and found Melf in the process of perfecting an incantation that would fling pointed shafts of a corrosive substance at the target (still working on the name since Melf’s Corrosive Shafts seems a bit off). The druid was the unfortunate recipient of one such “acid arrow”, if you will, as he peered through the door. Melf agreed to unpetrify the pups in exchange for the druid’s permission to unleash additional bolts at his chest. The druid, in his infinite wisdom, agreed to the bargain and only lost one of his eyes for his trouble. Melf restored the pups and sent the druid to The Temple of Dough with a note to get his eye restored.

The spike wearing (and wielding) cleric there was more than willing to restore his eye upon seeing the note from Melf, but required some additional alchemical items to complete the necessary magic. He sent the druid off to see a man named Kent on the other side of the city. Kent was eager to assist and, along with a flurry of eye based humor (I’ll keep an eye out-ha!), equipped the druid with a new eye in a jar and the other necessary spell components. Braig returned to the cleric and his eye, though turned a vibrant red by something going amiss with the cleric’s magic, was restored.

The Psion decided that his time would be best spent in the company of a particularly bizarre and crazy alchemist. For his trouble he was equipped with two bolts of alchemists fire whirled with alchemist’s ice. The use of these bolts will likely have an interesting outcome, or so the alchemist has assured the wayward Psion.

The ranger, seeking to return to the path of good, and knowing that his sister had last been at the Castle of the Ages, began to seek her out, but instead found a rather lonely bar maid. Being of the caring sort the ranger agreed to consort with the beautiful young woman (without even bothering to learn her name). They enjoyed a comfortable evening in each others warm and squishy embrace. After the generally expected in these situation explosions occurred the triumphant feelings that were quickly dancing through the ranger’s mind and body were brought to a sudden halt when the young bar maid whispered his name gently in his ear. He realized, quite quickly, that he had not told the woman his name and, without further conversation, went to bed at her side. She was gone when he woke. Assuming that something terrible had just happened the ranger renewed his search for his sister. He discovered that she had taken the post of vizier to the king and would not see him. She did, however, relay a message, “I’ll send the child along to see you when the time is right.” The ranger’s further efforts to speak to her directly have thus far met with negative results.

At last we come to the dwarf who, of course, spent the evening partaking of some of the city’s finest ale. He was having a rather splendid time until a city guard, who had already enjoyed more of the ale than was proper for a city guard, stumbled into his table and insisted on buying him a new drink to make up for it. The guard, in his drunken state, let slip that the lords who had been summoned to the castle by the soon to be king were in great danger. In fact, they probably wouldn’t survive the night.

The dwarf quickly dashed off to his friends and located the lot of them, save the ranger who was busy beneath the bedclothes, and shared with them that their beloved Lord Targus was probably the target of a terrible plot—though he may have failed to stress the urgency that the situation actually required.

They were about to go and cavort with Targus to inform him of the terrible atrocity that was scheduled to befall him when they encountered Sir Osric, the Captain of the Guard, who recognized them as the people that had arrived with Lord Targus. Lord Targus, he said, had informed him of their usefulness in bringing him to the city and he thought that they were just the people to assist with a small problem. They would be rewarded, he promised, with a gift of some great worth from the royal treasury.

They consented to be of assistance and were taken to the depths of the dungeon where they learned that The Crown of the Ages had been stolen. Without it the king would not be able to be crowed at his coronation in three days time. They were tasked with locating the missing adornment and sent on their way, with a raven that may have belonged to the thief, and strict instructions to keep this a secret from all others.

On the following day they were able to restore the raven to good health and began their investigation. The fighter was able to locate two glass cubes and a scrap of cloth that must have belonged to the victim. They were also able to question a guard who had been seen in the area and learned that he was likely the victim of a Magic Jar spell which caused the actual thief to be able to use his body to steal the crown without being challenged.

Wanting to have a discussion with the raven the druid asked if they might find a more useful druid in the area. Sir Osric advised that they might, indeed, find a druid, but he was a crazy old man who lived some sixty miles away (and three days by horse). They wouldn’t be able to make it in time!

The druid assured Sir Osric that they would, with the aid of their brand of transportation, be able to make the journey in time and party, minus the ranger and dwarf who continued to try to contact the ranger’s sister, left in the HTC. They discovered a pole in the vastness of the northern waste and were greeted, after a bit of button mashing, by a small woman with elfish features who took them to the druid, Nicholas, he attempted to talk with the bird, but the bird, who insisted that it was a raven, not a stool pigeon, wouldn’t give up any information.

Frustrated, the Psion fell to his knees and called out to Vecna to bed the birds will and make it speak. Vecna was bored that day and sent an apparition, in the form of the dead child that the Psion had previously used as a play thing for his psionic abilities, to assist. It took the bird, scrambled its brains, and bid the party to ask their questions quickly.

They learned that the cubes were used to grant access and that the raven was the familiar of a Yellow Wizard (collectors of antiquities) named Arthes Kren. That was all that they could get from the bird before it exploded and the child vanished. The Psion fell to his knees in thanks and the party returned to the city surrounding The Castle of the Ages. They gathered their friends and, after learning from Melf where they might find Arthes, they set out, via teleportation provided by Sir Osric and Melf, to a grove of trees where a large house could be seen in a clearing. They made their way to the house and were greeted by a butler who informed them that they could speak with Arthes in his Gazebo at the back side of the house.

The Yellow Wizard, Arthes Kren, was most hospitable until the group accused him of taking the Crown of the Ancient and attempted, through less than cunning use of linguistics puzzles and a truth candle to get him to admit that it was the case or to come with them to find the actual thief. The wizard at last relented and agreed to come with them, but he would need to gather some things first, they permitted him to leave their site and were surprised when the weather suddenly took a turn for the worse.

Their Very First (And Most Likely Last...) Dungeon Crawl

*An ominous rain cloud appears in the Arthes Kren garden, from it emerges Arthes Kren and 3 Slaad Bodyguards

  • Drak throughs Blane at Arthes Kren, knocking the wizard down, Drak then rushes forward

*Blane Guiding Strikes the Wizard (-2 AC)

*Wizard shoots paint at Blane (Saves) / Drak (Dazed) / G.G. (Dazed)

*Blane War Song Strikes Arthes Kren (Temp Hit Points Drak)

*Arthes Kren Icy Blasts Blane, Wizard Shifts Away

*Druid Fairy Fires Arthes Kren (Only 3 Wings the Wizard)

*Slaad # 1 & 2 duo attack Drak (Slaad # 1 & 2 then turn insubstantial)

*Arlin moves to the side (hit by Slaad 1) heals Drak

*G.G. misses Arthes Kren, her sword flies into Blane’s leg

*Arthes Kren lighting blast Drak & G.G. (G.G. punches the wizard)

*Slaad # 2 bites Drak

*Arlin kills Slaad # 2

*Blane uses Majestic Word (heals everyone except Braig / The Ranger / Frank); Ranger pops out of his flask

*Braig blasts Slaad # 3 with lightning; Slaad # 3 chaos shifts and bites Drak in the back

*Ranger Twin Strikes Frost Blades Slaad #3

*Blane uses Majestic Word 2nd time

*Slaad # 3 bites Ranger (2 times in row)

*Ranger Twin Strike Frost Blades Slaad #3 to death

*Everyone takes 50 gold each from Arthes Kren’s corpse (Blane also takes a healing potion); also on corpse:
-Bracers of Mighty Striking (+2 Hit) are also found
-2 Healing Potions
-Yellow Glass Cube

*Braig finds Green & Orange wind chime cubes in the gazebo; the Druid is then air blasted into the house

*Braig says to put the cube in rainbow order

*Braig, G.G., and the Ranger explore the upstairs

  • Drak, Frank, Arlin, and Blane explore downstairs

*G.G. sees wiggling baby bed and pulls blanket back to have a baby green dragon belch fire on G.G.
-Ranger picks baby dragon up and gets bit (and poisoned)
-They next go a bathroom discovering 3 vials of milky white liquid
-They then search a chest and find a small floating silver dagger
-G.G. opens another draw and her finger get pricked (she to is poisoned), and she picks up a book only to be Sepia Snake Sigiled
-Braig opens a third draw and finds of Sword of Wounding +1
-Fourth draw is opened, a false bottom is discovered containing a small purple bag & 2 scrolls (Magic Missile & Sepia Snake Sigil)

*Meanwhile Frank finds the pantry, and Drak takes a decanter from it

*In the Kitchen the Butler is reading the last will and testament of Arthes Kren; after conversing briefly with the Tribe he opens a pot and a cloud of pea soup floods the room
-Arlin shield bashes the Butler
-Drak breathes acid on Arlin
-With the power of his mind Frank shuts the pot, and discovers a hidden staircase

*In the dungeon Frank tries to push a door open only to be fire balled

*Blane uses Lock Bust Chalk on the door, and Frank then telekinetically pushes it open (they find a second purple bag)

*Blane opens a second door to a room filled with Basilisk’s in glass like cages (one of the cages has a third purple bag)

*Drak prays to the Raven Queen, and is turned into a raven

*Blane finds 5 levers that operate the metal covers for the Basilisk cages

*Arlin curse the god Kord (while the Ranger prays to him); Kord in turn manifests as a minotaur and repeatedly punches Arlin in the face
-Mithral Gauntlets appear on the Rangers hands, and he too repeatedly punches Arlin in the face
-The symbol of Kord is mystically tattooed on the Rangers Hand
-Kord shows the Ranger which three levers operate the metal covers of the Basilisk cages. Kord then gives the Ranger a holy symbol (a hammer on a chain) and departs

*Frank and the Ranger bicker about who should get the 3rd purple bag out of the Basilisk cage
-Drak the raven fly’s into the cage and returns with the 3rd purple bag giving it to Blane

*A 4th door is opened, the room beyond is filled with cups of gold
-Drak the raven fly’s into the room to get the 4th purple bag out of a cup when he suddenly turns back into a Dragonborn (who’s head is stuck in a cup)

*The 5th door is opened, it leads to descending staircase

*The 6th door leads to an Ampitheater
-4 skeletons sit on chairs each holding purple bags
-2 large banners: banner one says 3 2, banner two says 3 2 1 in gold letters

*Blane finds a secret compartment with a scroll that says choose one
-Blane chooses the bag from the stage right skeleton, he and all the other skeletons then disappear (it was the wrong bag)

Dungeon Delving and a Strange Trip
Puzzle Trapped and an Encounter by Force

Shocked to see that Blane’s careful and well thought selection of collecting a puzzle piece from a magical puzzle, resulted in him disappearing, it became clear to the group that he must have chosen wisely. While he was gone there was entertainment on the stage from some magical golems, before the bard magically returned.

Blane informed them that apparently what he selected was wrong, since it sent him to the Land of the Dead. It must have been a nice place since Blane got to meet a 3-headed puppy, have tea with Hades, and see Lord Targus. Yeah, it turns out that Lord Targus was killed by Prince Kane to remove any opposition. I guess the drunken guard was really telling the truth and that it was an urgent thing.
So Hades and Blane made a little deal. Blane could go back to the Land of the Living to stop Prince Kane and bring back Lord Targus if his party agreed to make a pact with Hades. As a symbol of the pact, Hades gave Blane some nice party favor necklaces. Each one had a glass vial of water from the River Styx. Which are powerful and magical, but not so good if they break or are drank from… okay, maybe they are not the best party favors; for ages 3 and up only kids.
Blane also got the final pieces of the puzzle piece they were looking for and it created a rather odd ring/handle thing. Most of the party decided to make the pact with Hades, after all they had to save the land somehow and making a pact with a god of death couldn’t be too bad. Drak had his own goddess of death so he wasn’t interested with anything to do with Hades, so he put his vial in his pocket.

With all their party back and alive the group kept exploring the wizard’s crazy trap filled basement for the Crown of Ages. There were only two rooms left on that floor so they opened one and found a coat closet. Gregoria decided to look around and checked one of the coat pockets to find something sticky and unpleasant inside. It turned out to be some kind of creeping solvent glue which threatened to envelope her; not something she wanted to stick around for. Trying to be helpful Drak offered to cut off Gregoria’s arm to help remove the glue, which didn’t go over very well. But Erogoren’s keen ranger senses found a goulash full of solvent which helped get rid of the glue.

The party tried the other door and found the wizard’s study. They looked over the room and found a couple of interesting books. “How to Raise Wolf Pups” by Claude Anchood for Braig and a book on Genealogy and Family Trees by Lynn E. Yurr for Erogoren. Fortunately nobody got Sepia Snake Sigiled this time.

They then went downstairs and found a room full of water with a narrow edge going all the way around it and a door on the far side of the room. While everyone was staring at the murky waters and trapped narrow walkway, Braig conjured some kind of floating disk and ferried everyone to the door on the far side of the room; avoiding the creepy tentacles undulating in the water.

On the other side of the door was a floor covered in markings and a hole that seemed like the puzzle piece would fit into it. Blane put the puzzle piece into it creating and unlocking a doorway which led to another set of stairs.

The party followed the stairs down to a room with a flowing fountain, an hour glass with an open top, a 3 gallon jug, a 5 gallon jug, a locked door, and a riddle saying only a ‘pure one’ would open the door. Some members of the group started doubting passage through the door, since none in the group were really ‘pure’. The druid instantly started filling up water jugs and carefully pouring the water between the two jugs. The group just watched as he played with the water, before he poured one gallon of water down the hour glass, unlocking the door. Apparently druid training requires all kinds of weird tasks, like water pouring. The door led down a decorated passage way to another puzzle trap.

This puzzle trap had pillars on both ends, red pillars on the right side and black pillars on the left and a red and black checkerboard between them. Apparently there was some special way of getting across these heavily trapped tiles. The ranger’s perception helped them again as he found a door in one of the pillars which safely took them under the checkerboard and to another decorated passage. No checkers were harmed in the making of this puzzle.

At the end of this passage was an octagonal room supported by pillars with a large magical crown hanging from the ceiling over some kind of horrible trap. There was also a locked door and some buttons to unlock them. The pillars had numeric clues for the sequence of button presses and the ranger was granted access to the next room.
Gregoria found a little door in the floor and was rewarded for her curiosity by an exploding ball of lightening. Singed hair and lots of healing later she was fine. The Psion found a key inside the door on the floor and pulled it out safely, although it did set some horrible clicking mechanism into motion.

Meanwhile Erogoren explored the next room that had a statue of an angry wizard, which kept getting triggered and blasting painful magic into his face. Along with the statue was a pile gold coins on a pressure plate, two cursed chests, and designs of food all over the walls. Erogoren helped himself to the gold while waiting for the rest of the group to catch up. They entered to find that the ticking sound was causing the cauldron-like ceiling to heat up and to tilt. The Psion warned everyone of the dire magic in the room and they all convinced the ranger that taking gold off the pressure plate was a bad idea. Although that didn’t stop the Psion from moving gold off the plate to find a covered button that would not budge. There was a riddle in the room about an old adage being the key for turning off the trap. A moment of inspiration struck Gregoria as she remembered that ‘a way to man’s heart is through his stomach’. She parted the cloth robe on the statue and found a keyhole on its stomach which shut off the trap with the key.

With the traps turned ‘off’ the Psion busily tried to get the crown using his mental abilities, while Gregoria tried to talk Drak into giving her a boost to it. In the end Drak tried to toss the fighter towards the trap and ended up landing on the pressure plate. This made climbing up him to get to the crown easier. Everyone managed to get off the pressure plate with crown in hand, and no injuries. Although Drak was still a bit disgruntled from being treated like a footstool. The Psion discovered the mystical ability of the crown; to disintegrate the wearer. Blane with his bardic knowledge assured him that isn’t the power of the crown and that it was a fake; that the real crown must still be hidden.

Something about the fake crown caused Gregoria’s female intuition to tingle and she went back the wizard statue again. She checked the statue’s chest and found a little heart shaped bag. She opened it and found a tiny crown, which expanded to its full size in her hands. Just in case they returned to Prince Kane; Blaine put the fake crown into the little bag of holding and held on to it; while Gregoria stashed the real crown in her pack.

The group noticed at that time that Erogoren had slipped away and wondered where he had gone. About that moment a horrible screeching was heard accompanied by Erogoren’s rushing footsteps. Apparently in his boredom he had decided to see what lurked in that pool earlier and had pissed the creature off. The creature couldn’t chase the ranger through all the corridors so it prayed to its god for help. As Erogoren reached the octagonal room his bowstring turned into a worm-like monster which grew before their eyes, taking up a good portion of the room. Kids, the lesson to take away from this experience is: Don’t tease with someone else’s worm, unless you are serious about it.

The group fought the monster valiantly, before the Psion decided to try out one of his flaming ice bolts. He fired and it hit the worm-like creature exploding in a flurry of snowflakes, which swirled about like the inside of a snow globe. The room is covered in snow and ice as the burns in the center of this winter scene with chestnuts roasting off his flames. The group slowly leaves the room, but too late. The fire erupts into a fire ball burning the group.

After tending to 2nd degree burns the group makes their way out of the dungeons under the house and explored the grounds again and to see if Sir Osric had sent the ship he had promised to take them back to The Castle of Ages. There was no ship, but they did find some keys for the Yellow Wizard’s house. Having an exhausting day of traps, riddles, and monsters the group locked themselves in one of the least trapped rooms, locked the door, and called it a night.

The next morning found a creature hungrily scratching the door. Gregoria asked for it to scratch twice if it was friendly and it did. Having to face the creature, nobody wanted to stay in the room forever, they met Nibbles and intelligent bear-like creature with viscous teeth and an unending appetite. Nibbles just wanted to eat. They gave him food and he still wanted to moar!

The dwarf thought Nibbles was a cute and friendly creature and started to pet him, much to the creature’s enjoyment until the creature swallowed him whole. The group was understandably disturbed by this and was going to slay the Nibbles, until he told the party that his mouth was a portal to another world and it is rare for people to come back. If they do they have to find another portal like him. The group tried different strategies to get the dwarf back, which ended up not working or would pull them through the bear’s mouth into another world. Separating the group like this caused pain for those still in the home world. Their Hades pendants burning and making them feel sick. Drak thought such matters was best handled as a group. That and he just wanted to throw people again so he chucked Braig and Blane into Nibble’s mouth; winning both the Druid and Bard Toss Competition. Not to be out done Nibbles swallowed Drak as well.

The party found themselves in a metal room with a sealed door with no visible way of opening it. The group looked around and talked amongst themselves, when Braig heard voices and called for them to let them out. Some members of the group thought this was rather stupid, but it was the only way he could think of getting the door open. The door opened and a couple of men in white plastic-like armor appeared, they asked what the party was doing here and told them to wait while they fetched another prisoner. They brought back a woman who had hair coiled like sweet rolls on her head. The group described their encounter with Nibbles and was told that another adventurer from their world had arrived here to a similar fate. They were told of a planet where this world’s Nibbles was. Actually there was more than just one. Apparently there was a world full of Nibbles’. Apparently the creature multiplies after digesting magic items and it had been busy.

The kind rescuers had them wait in a store room before getting them aboard some kind ship that traveled through the ocean of stars and took them to a dry planet where they could use a little gold to get passage to the Nibbles Planet. Apparently spending too much gold here would collapse the economy like a bad thunder spell.

Once their second sky ship landed on the planet they found themselves on a raised platform above a sea of hungry Nibbles. On the platform was a tall building and they went inside to check it out. They were greeted by a man dressed all in black with a matching flowing cape. It sounded like he had some breathing problems. He greeted the group and told them how he was cataloging these creatures. The group asked to the see the original Nibbles so they could go home. He did so for enough gold to blow up a planet and led them down to a stairway past tortured and experimented Nibbles. The group wisely blindfolded the druid as he started to get upset for the animals. They found the original NIbbles who whimpered in pain and was missing most of his fur. The creature agreed to ‘eat’ the adventures and with a great ‘force’ found themselves back in their homeland in a tower.

The tower room they found themselves in contained a study and a bedroom and by looking out the windows they discovered they were safely back in the Castle of Ages which was dangerous for them, it was Prince Kane’s bedroom. This was made clear by the fact that he walked in shortly after their arrival.

He warmly greeted his guests and asks for his crown. They gave him the fake crown and he walked off to have it examined. He came back shortly after asking for the real crown and has his mages scan everybody for magic items. Fortunately nobody had to strip searched.

They came across some startling things though. Like the wolf pups actually being magical and that Braig was actually their father. Magic paternity test for the win!

On a more sour note they found that Gregoria did have the real crown and took her away locking our heroes in the tower.

Session #7: CRAUD PEOPLE!!!

*Father Fellfire knocks on the Castle Of Ages Dungeon Door, and the guards let him; the good Father tells them that LPVDK has ordered “the Tribe’s” release
-Surprisingly the High Priest of Vecna is the worst liar ever; unsurprisingly though, the palace guards fall for it (begging the ages old question: Who hires these people?)

*Braig goes to the dock to book passage on a ship
-The ships captain is a necromancer who wears only white fur
-The ships crew is literally a skeleton crew (none of the Tribe have a problem with this)
-The Tribe has a choice between a 4 day voyage, or a 4 month voyage to the city of Kair; they choose the 4 day voyage for the low low price of 300 gold

*Before they set sail though Blane and Braig (at Blane’s insistence) go back to the Castle of Ages to look for Rothgar
-Braig (in spider & mouse forms) infiltrates the castle
-Braig sees many angry guards, but no Rothgar

*Meanwhile The Ranger goes to a Tattoo Shop and picks out a nice picture of Kermit The Frog
-Unfortunately the tattoo will not be finished by the time the ship departs, so he must wait until another day
-The definition of Kermit The Frog may or may not be up for debate

*Day One at sea passes without incident

*Day Two not so much; For it was The Day Of the Craud People!!! Craud People! Craud People! Taste like Craud, talk like People! Craud People!
-Out of the fog (oh yah fog suddenly appeared) A Craud Dad, Craud Mom, and 3 Craud Kids come on board for tea & cookies (their definition of tea and cookies though is the Tribes blood and various and sundry organs)

*Let Mortal Craudbat Begin!
-The Ranger uses his “Splits the Tree” power on the Craud Dad & Mom
-G./G. uses his/her “Spinning Sweep” power, channeled through his/her +2 Sword of Wounding, on the Craud Mom
-Drak uses his “Spinning Sweep” power on the Craud Dad
-Braig uses his “Fairy Fire” on the Craud Mom (and doesn’t set the ship on fire; I know, hard to believe)
-G./G. gets an opportunity attack on the Craud Mom of his/her +2 Sword of Wounding when it tries to flee
-Craud Kid #1 attacks Frank but misses, Craud Kid #2 attacks Arlin, Craud Kid #3 attacks Blane (how rude)
-Blane uses his “Charger’s Call” power on Craud Kid #3
-Frank uses his “Dimensional Scramble” on Craud Dad & Craud Kid #2, but it misses
-Arlin uses his “Steel Monsoon” on Craud Kid #1 but it misses, this allows Blane & Drak to shift on 5 feet away
-The Ranger then uses his “Twin Strike” arrow power on Craud Kids 1 & 2
-G./G. uses his/her “Reaping Strike” power on Craud Kid #1, but it misses
-Drak (powered by Blane’s “Charger’s Call”) charges and “Cleaves” the Craud Dad & Craud Kid #2
-Braig shifts to wolf form and “Pounces” Craud Kid #2
-A giant wave splashes the ship, and the King Of All Craud (Crown And All) appears next to Arlin
-Craud Dad attacks Drak, but misses
-Craud Kid #2 hits Braig (who suffers 5 ongoing damage)
-Craud Kid #1 hits Arlin (who suffers 5 ongoing damage)
-Blane uses his “Inspiring Refrain” on the Craud King but misses; he uses his action point to “Guiding Strike” the Craud King successfully
-Frank “Living Missiles” Craud King into the Craud Dad, and the Craud Dad is no more!
-Drak “Cleaves” the Craud King
-The Craud King attacks Drak in return
-Craud Kid #1 attacks Arlin
-Craud Kid #3 attacks G./G.
-Blane selflessly uses his “Majestic Word” power to heal his comrades
-Frank shoots an Alchemical Frost-Fire Arrow at the Craud King; which causes its heart to grow 10 sizes (regrettably so does the rest of it), and the ship begins to tip; Frank then uses an action point to “Kinetic Haul” a critical hit on the Craud King
-Arlin uses his “Hammer & Anvil” power on the Craud King
-The Ranger uses his “Twin Strike” power arrows on the Craud King, but misses
-G./G. uses his/her “Cleave” power on Craud Kids #1 & 3
-Drak uses his “Villain’s Menace” power on the Craud King
-Braig moves away from the melee to use his “Storm Spike” power on the Craud King
-Craud Kid #1 hits Arlin
-Craud Kid #3 misses G./G.
-Arlin & Braig fail Dex Checks and slide 5 feet towards the edge of the ship
-The Craud King freezes then burns the ships mast, knocking it down; Dark gets an opportunity attack on the Craud King (The Ranger, who had been sniping the Craud Family from the crows nest, falls to the deck)
-Blane once again, selflessly, uses his “Majestic Word” power to heal his beleaguered comrades
-Arlin uses his “Furious Smah” power on the Craud King
-The Ranger use his “Twin Strike” power, channeled through his +5 Frost Longsword, on the Craud King, but misses
-G./G. uses his/her “Cleave” power on Craud Kid #3
-Drak uses his “Reaping Strike” power on the Craud King ending its Crauded life; the Craud King falls on the Craud Kids, Arlin, The Ranger, and G./G. (Craud Kid #3 was killed in the filming of this episode; RIP nameless extra in cheap rubber suit)
-Braig uses his “Cull the Herd” power on Craud Kid #1, who is no more

*The Fur Covered Necromancer Captain waves his hand and all the Craad Corpses fly into the Craud Sea. Craud!!!

*The last two days at sea are unremarkable and the ship makes port in the city of Kair
-The city of Kair has an abundance of 2 things: Thing #1 many many Bear Statues, Thing #2 many many wanted poster of “The Tribe”
-A small boy (corpse like almost) comes up to “The Tribe” and gives them a letter from LPVDK KOA (please refer to the item section to view a copy of this letter, or ask for the Braig evil letters on tape version)

*At this point “The Tribe” splits up to wander the city

*The Ranger goes to the Temple of Kord, a Magic Shop, a Tattoo Shop, and the General Store

*Arlin mucks about the city until he runs into Father Fellfire; who tells him that LPVDK KOA has asked him to put tracking spells on “The Tribe”
-Father Fellfire doesn’t really want to do this, as LPVDK KOA is not a very nice person (remember kids just being evil doesn’t excuse poor manners)
-Arlin (former follower of Kord, current follower of Vecna) sacrifices 7 innocents to Father Fellfire to save himself, I mean “The Tribe”

*Frank goes to the Antique Store, which is run a large nosed man in grey robes
-The shop has many big black staffs on a hidden rotating rack
-Frank buys a Helicopter Beanie (good for 1 hour before needing to be recharged)

*G./G. goes to see a Triceratops Wizard who lives in a grass hut to identify his/her Mysterious Blue Box
-He tells him/her it is a Deck Of Many Things! Oh crap.
-G./G. then tells the Wizard about his/her Dragonborn Friend Mr. Drak, they then set off to find Mr. Drak / bring about a 20 year apocalypse (good things take time to make you know)

*Braig also goes looking for a wizard

*Drak goes to the local Temple of The Raven Queen to find info on the mysterious Mr. Negrog

*Blane goes off to seek a good bottle of wine, and a beautiful female companion to share it with

*Vikar Maorganis (Triceratops Wizard Extraordinaire) meets up with Drak at the Temple of the Raven Queen, and asks him to follow him into the basement for a light supper and pleasant conversation
-By this Vikar met strapping Drak to a torture table as three spikes drill into him and drain his blood (-2 Con Permanent)

*After helping start the slow acting end of the world G./G. decided to set The Deck Of Many Things to 10
-Spin #1: Get Out Of Jail Free Card
-Spin #2: Blue Bag (2 additional pulls from the deck) or Red Bag (no one will ever know)
-Spin #3: +2 Charisma
-Spin #4: Unknown
-Spin #5: +2 Sword Of Wounding
-Spin #6: Circlet Of Authority & Dead to a Small Keep
-Spin #7: -2 On All Defenses
-Spin #8: Purple Bag (25 gems = 2,000 gold pieces) or Green Bag (no one will ever know)
-Spin #9: Magical Ring With 2 Red Stones (2 Wishes of the not so perfect sort)
-Spin #10: Immediately Change Gender (Then turn back)
-Spin #11: A man named Ralph appears next to G./G., he will be G./G.’s servent until one of them dies)
-Spin #12: Lose 400 Experience and must draw another card
-Spin #13: -1 Intelligence

*At the Magic Shop The Ranger is asked by its owner Mika (a Fairy) if he would like to see something funny; The Ranger says yes and is “Greased” by Mika
-The Ranger then buys a “Frost Collar” from Mika
-The Ranger then goes to the Armor Shop, only to find out it is also run by Mika

*The Tribe gains 550 experience

The Slow Acting Apocalypse

*Braig turns The Deck of Many Things to 3
-Spin #1: Blane now hates Braig
-Spin #2: Braig summons Death, they battle, Braig wins but is cursed with the Stench of Death
-Spin #3: Lose a lot of xp, and must draw again
-Spin #4: 50 gems (value 1,000 gp each)

*The Ranger goes to an Animal Trainer and buys a Dire Wolf

*Arlin turns The Deck of Many Things to 5
-Spin #1: The amulet Father Fellfire gave him disappears
-Spin #2: Arlin disappears
-Spin #3: Know the answer to a dilemma that plagues you card
-Spin #4: 300 xp and an Magic Ebony Fly
-Spin #5: G./G. now hates Arlin

*Frank turns The Deck of Many Things to 3
-Spin #1: A circle of light and fire appears around Frank, Death appears and battles Frank; Frank loses, dies, and cannot be revived by any means (don’t worry kids, in about 50 years or so be will reborn; sometimes its good to be a Deva)
-Spin #2: No one will ever know
-Spin #3: No one will ever know

*The Ranger goes to the Temple of Kord to have his new Dire Wolf Puppy baptized
-Kord gives the Ranger a vision of a new Half-Orc companion destined/cursed to join The Tribe
-There is a massive explosion, and the Dire Wolf now has a holy symbol of Kord on it

*Drak turns The Deck of Many Things to 10
-Spin #1: Magic Ring with 4 rubies (4 imperfect wishes)
-Spin #2: Crown of Command and the Deed to a Small Keep
-Spin #3: A man named Jack with an axe appears and says he will serve Drak until one of them dies
-Spin #4: If Drak defeats the next monster The Tribe faces he will gain a level
-Spin #5: Magic Ring with 3 rubies (4 imperfect wishes) & 1 blue stone (1 perfect wish)
-Spin #6: Drak disappears
-Spin #7: A Demon somewhere (Rule of Three) hates Drak
-Spin #8: Magic Ring with 4 rubies (4 imperfect wishes)
-Spin #9: +2 Con
-Spin #10: Avoid any situation Drak wants once card

*Blane turns The Deck Of Many Things to 2 (after rolling a die)
-Spin #1: Someone on another plane hates him (probably Rule of Three)
-Spin #2: If Blane defeats the next monster he gains a level

*The Ranger returns to The Tribe with a new Half-Orc Companion, who shall henceforth be known as Frank 2.0
-A Styx Amulet appears in Blane’s hand and he gives it to the Half-Orc (it just seems like the right thing to do)

*Frank 2.0 turns the Deck to 1
-Spin #1: Alignment goes from Unaligned to Lawful

*Father Fellfire turns the Deck to 3
-Spin #1: Father Fellfire suddenly becomes naked
-Spin #2: A minion, 2 major magic weapons (mace & crossbow), & a lot of gp
-Spin #3: No one knows

*A hunched woman wearing a cowl comes over to The Tribe’s table at the inn they are staying in
-She is one of the two beings hunting The Tribe, she is also the Ranger’s aunt
-She too is not so found of LPVDK KOA, and tells The Tribe that if they deliver the 4 Swords of Legend to her she will agree to stop hunting them

*An Eclipse consumes the sky (it is the beginning of the slow acting apocalypse)
-Frank 2.0 prays to Kord for guidance, who in turn manifest before Frank 2.0
-Blane politely offers Kord a glass of lemonade, who gladly accepts it (after all manifesting can be thirsty work)
-Kord tells the Tribe that Drak’s blood is being used to bring 20 years of darkness and undead chaos; followed of course by the end of the world (I told you it was a slow acting apocalypse)

*Blane goes to the Temple of Pelor and explains the situation to them (after all who would be better to end 20 years of darkness then the followers of the Sun God)

*Meanwhile Vikar is sitting calmly in front of a barred Temple of the Raven Queen (which is temporarily closed for 20 years for end of the world renovations )

*Drak uses a red gem to wish the Wall of Force around the Temple of the Raven Queen to disappear
-He uses the second red gem to create a second wall of force in front of the temple before him
-He uses the third red gem to send Vikar to the Raven Queen as a sacrifice
-He uses the fourth gem to let himself pass through the 2 Walls of Force before him
-He uses the blue gem to be exactly where he wants to be in the Temple before him
-Drak sees one of Vikar’s wizard minions before him and promptly strikes him in the face with his great axe
-The other wizards in the temple overwhelm Drak, and the one he hit with an axe possesses Drak’s body

*Meat puppet Drak comes out of the temple and says everything will be fine; for some reason no one seems to believe him (maybe its the fact that the world still covered in darkness, or maybe its the fact that Drak is being nice [and that is just creepy])

*Arlin sees a Hammer in a glass like cube of ice, slips on his own shield and hits his head on the cube

*Blane catches a glimpse of a man carrying a very familiar harp into a nearby tavern

*Frank 2.0 and The Ranger bash an unconscious Arlin into the cube (no one knows why, after that isn’t a very good or lawful act)
-Kord appears and cuts off the Ranger’s arm, and says not to regrow it for a year and a day

*Braig wishes the barriers surrounding the temple in front of him to disappear

*The Ranger encounters Lord Hades at the steps of the Temple of Kord
-Hades gives the Ranger a silver metallic skeletal arm to replace the one Kord took (as regrowing the original would violate divine law)
-The Ranger discovers that with the skeletal arm he cannot enter the Temple of Kord
-Hades then departs

*Arlin awakens and decides to urinate on the ice cube, nothing happens to the cube (other than it is now covered is foul smelling dwarf piss)
-It then occurs to Arlin to use his answer to a dilemma card to find out how to free the hammer
-He must use the Kair Bear Stare to set it free (this is done by arranging two sets of bear eyes in the center of town)
-The Axe is called Flamebringer, a +2 bear statue controlling axe of truth and justice

*Elan the Bard is playing a Harp that once belonged to Blane in a local tavern
-Blane convinces Elan to trade the harp for a use of The Deck of Many Things
*Elan turns The Deck of Many things to 10
-Spin #1: Lose all worldly possessions
-Spin #2: Lose all worldly possessions
-Spin #3: Defeat the next monster and gain a level
-Spin #4: 10,000 xp, 2 more pulls from the deck
-Spin #5: Xicon (An Evil Litch hates Elan)
-Spin #6: Gain 2 levels if he defeats the next monster
-Spin #7: Avoid any situation once card
-Spin #8: Lose all magic items (had none)
-Spin #9: Gain a magical lute & 50,000 xp
-Spin #10: The magical lute disappears
-Spin #11: +2 Charisma
-Spin #12: Ring with 1 red stone
-Elan then wishes that Blane’s Harp was his again (damn unsporting of him if you ask me)

*Braig and G./G. smash a giant red gem in the temple and Drak regains control of his body

*Arlin gets a tattoo removed, he then gets a symbol of Kord tattooed on him

*Blane prays to Sehanine for the solution to saving the world from the slow acting apocalypse
-A large metal flask with “Blood” written in Draconic appears in Blane’s hand
-The clerics of Pelor then slit Drak’s throat and fill the metal flask with it (3 gallons worth in fact); Drak was harmed in the making of this episode (in fact he died)

*A Half-Elf wearing all black (and a Rapier) with the Ranger’s Family Symbol comes up to him and says his name is Boradrinn
-He also says that The Ranger is his Father, and that his mother has sent him to his father to be trained

*The Ranger turns The Deck of Many Things to 10
-Spin #1: Death is summoned (and promptly scythes himself)
-Spin #2: Crown of Command and the Deed to a Small Keep
-Spin #3: +2 Sword is now +5
-Spin #4: 400 xp and a Magic Ivory Goat
-Spin #5: 2 additional pulls from the deck
-Spin #6: All magic items disappear
-Spin #7: A Demon somewhere hates him
-Spin #8: Crown of Command and the Deed to a Small Keep (2 Keeps total)
-Spin #9: +5 Sword is returned
-Spin #10: Ring of Three Wishes
-Spin #11: A Demon somewhere hates him (2 demons total)
-Spin #12: Starts to loose all things real (uses a wish to stop it)

*The Ranger uses his 2nd wish so that he never lost his arm
-He then uses his 3rd wish to be able to where plate mail

*Drak wakes up in a field of fluffy white clouds; he finds stone steps and descends into the underworld
-Drak gives Charon 2 gold coins, Charon drops them into the River
-Drak wishes for free passage across the River Styx
-Drak walks past Cerberus into Lord Hades Throne Room
-Drak solves the box puzzle and forgets about the secret of his blood and his knowledge of the Draconic Language

*The Tribe goes to Mica’s Magic Shop
-Mica asks Frank 2.0 his standard question, when Frank 2.0 says yes he is promptly greased
-Mica asks Blane his standard question, Blane says no (having learned long ago never to trust a fairy in matters of humor)
-Blane makes a deal with Mica to find the 1st Sword of Legend (Mica gets 5% of the treasure The Tribe finds with the 1st Sword of Legend)
-Mica says to seek out a woman named Alma (she wants something else, and will trade the location of sword for that item)

*Braig discovers one of his pups is missing, and The Tribe tracks it back to a mysterious female elf sitting in a tree

So Many Tombs, So Little Time
The Quest for Glory

Who doesn’t love a shopping adventure? That happened…it was good times.

The Order of the Styx ventured out into the world after that, and having obtained the key to the proper tomb from the Cave of Wonders, to seek out the first of the Swords of Legend. They began making their way up the mountains when they encountered an old man.

The thief like dragon born, possessed by some sort of spirit of rage, upset the humble pie maker and The Order was forced to continue their trek without any pie. As it was growing dark they decided to take refuge in a nearby cave where they met a not so fierce Drabbit named Sky. He spoke to them briefly, but gave them permission to rest the night in his cave.

During the night the sneaky Drabbit stole the key that our heroes had so lately obtained. Ever the brilliant bunch The Order quickly realized that the item was missing and made their way to the tombs where, fortunately, the Drabbit had left the proper door open. They found him attempting to puzzle his way through the tomb (clearly not having much luck).

They, after a firey and occasionally cold type death made their way to the sword chamber and were daunted by the words, “To the Victor goes the spoils…” until they (with some help of the druid and his ever impressive goose form and the humble pie maker) found Victor Friday, a long dead king, in the sarcophagus at the tomb’s opening. He happily led them back to the sword chamber and reclaimed Glory, the sword of Freedom, from the pilar on which it rested.

King Friday quickly regained much of his lost strength and The Order began to grow nervous…

Fighting Friday and A Pack of Evil
A Little Glory....

After a little fanciful sword play the Dragon Born is able to secure Glory, the Sword of Freedom, from King Friday. The old king departs to enjoy his final rest and our heroes light out into the world after learning that true Honor exists where the Knights of Arthur held palaver with their king. There was some more time spent with the dratted Deck of Many Things and the ever delightful Family Drinn. Our heroes now consider how to make their way to another plane given the magic that binds them to this one.


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